Tired of chasing perfection? Here’s how to rewrite the rules
Ditch the “shoulds” and pivot your way
Gratitude spotlight: A huge thank you to
who upgraded. It means more than you’ll know! I thought her message was very timely for today’s topic!
Hey there, lovely friends! 😊
Confession time: I love the idea of walking, but I’m not much of a walker.
The other day, though, I managed to get myself out for a walk. I was feeling pretty proud…until I caught myself thinking, “I should really aim for 8,000 steps today.”
Do you ever do that? Start something new and immediately jump to “What’s the best way?” or “What’s the most efficient way to do this?”
Goals are great, but they can sometimes morph into rigid rules that make us feel like we’re failing if we don’t meet them perfectly.
That day, as I started feeling the the weight of the shoulds, a little voice in my head piped up…“Who says?!”
"Who says you need to walk 8,000 steps?” “Who says you can’t just stick to your original plan of a short podcast and a walk?"
It’s so easy to overlook all the effort we’re already putting in and instead feel like we’re falling short of some invisible standard we’ve created for ourselves.
Sometimes, the most freeing thing we can do is step back and ask, “Who says?”
Who says your walk has to be a certain length?
Who says your career must follow a straight path?
Who says you have to do things like everyone else?
Who says you can’t pivot when it feels right?
from , recently gave herself permission to pivot on Substack. After 2.5 years, she decided to stop offering monthly subscriptions and focus entirely on yearly ones. (Substack doesn’t allow creators to turn off monthly options, so she matched the monthly price to the old yearly rate and increased the yearly price to reflect over two years of valuable content.) from , in one of her newsletters, shared a voice note about how she’s shifted her focus to mentoring people with their portfolio careers. Anna is no stranger to pivoting—and this last one has been a beautiful evolution for her.For me, leaving my 9-to-5 with no clear plan was one of the scariest pivots I’ve ever made. But it opened the door to so much more.
There are so many more examples of people choosing to pivot. (Please share yours in the comments!)
Pivoting doesn’t always have to be a big, life-changing decision, though. It can be as small as taking a shorter route on your walk or deciding to let go of the perfect plan.
Next time you feel stuck or out of alignment, ask yourself:
✿ Who says I have to do it this way?
✿ Is it time to pivot toward something that truly aligns with who I am?
✿ What would it look like if I let go of the "shoulds"?
✿ Am I waiting for the "perfect" moment, or is now good enough?
✿ What’s the smallest step I can take today to feel more aligned?
The more we practice listening to and trusting ourselves in the small moments, the better equipped we’ll be to navigate the bigger shifts when they come.
I like what
had to say in this Note:Have you ever felt like everywhere you look, someone or something is trying to influence you?
It’s exhausting.
It's all too easy to find ourselves looking to others—either in our neighborhoods or on our newsfeeds—for how our homes, our clothes, our ballots, and, quite frankly, how our entire lives should look.
It often feels like we're adrift, being tossed from wave to wave, doesn't it?
But here's the thing: if you feel like you’re drowning in the endless opinions and influences around you, know that it's entirely possible to step back to the helm and regain your sense of control.
It’s a journey back to your autonomy, and it can be incredibly liberating.
What steps can you take today to steer your own ship?
Sending you lots of love and permission to pivot. 💕
✍️ I wold love to hear your story of pivoting!
What “shoulds” can you release today?
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Hi Mika - I can sooo relate to this. When I suddenly quit my job at 57 I felt bombarded by all the people who were filling their lives with busyness - second careers, returning to study (they all seem to want to be life coaches!), fitness goals, influencer goals, etc etc. It took me a couple of years to just let all that go, to realize I didn't want to be super busy, or to compete with others in a race I didn't sign up for.....I just wanted to live a good life that resonated with my values.
For a long time I felt like didn't deserve such a pleasant life, or that I had to justify my choices to those busy people - but now I live and let live - the busy people can buzz buzz buzz, while I just quietly get on with what makes my heart happy - and that included getting rid of my fitness tracker so that my morning walks are about mindfulness and connecting with my neighbourhood - rather than about how many steps I tick off. I love that you're finding your way to living authentically, and finding and encouraging like-minded souls along the way.
I've been noticing lately how often I squeeze the joy out of things I enjoy by turning them into a 'should' (I should go for a walk, I should do yoga etc). I'm actively working on trying to change this, to do things much more for the joy and to try on 'I get to...' rather than 'I have to...'