Stepping into the unknown of quitting my job

Leaving a comfortable job of 9 years is super scary, especially when I have no idea what’s next!!!

If you’re reading this, it means that I have handed in my notice!

I wanted to capture the real feelings before I ACTUALLY did it and didn’t want to publish it until AFTER I handed in my resignation.

The writing below is what I wrote on the Saturday before I gave in my notice.

Enjoy.

15 April 2023

Breathe…..

I can’t actually believe that I am going through with it.

I can’t believe it’s been nine years since I returned to work force after staying home to raise our four children.

I can’t believe it was nice years ago that I felt the nudge to find a job. (All I thought was, “Wouldn’t it be nice to have a job on the days I don’t have my favourite Zumba classes”. 😆 Not the most conventional way to start a job search!! Then, not long after, I came across a Facebook post on a community page - that I hardly go on, and have never gone on since - offering a position on those EXACT two days I wanted, Tuesday and Thursday.)

I can’t believe it’s been nine years since I started working two days a week doing an Administrative job share roll, and now I’m their senior in-house graphic designer working 30 hours.

I can’t believe I’m going to say goodbye to a company I love and all my wonderful workmates.

It’s been a roller coaster of emotions.

I recently got a nudge that it was time for me to move on from the job. It felt like the time I got the nudge to return to work.

So I excitedly thought to myself, “I wonder what new opportunity is going to show up.” I quickly dismissed the thought of leaving without having a replacement income, because if I’m honest, I didn’t think it we could make it financially work, and possibly deep down, I don’t know if I was ready for the change.

In March, I was at home sick, and was doing a bit of journalling.

On 28 March 2023, I wrote, “It’s time to cull - you don’t need outside people to tell you what to cull.”

Then on 1 April 2023, I wrote, “This month is all about cleansing, to make space for the new.”

That evening, on 1 April 2023, we were having dinner at our friend’s house. They run a 1-year old successful construction company. They were sharing their journey of coming to New Zealand, starting their company, and being led to their first contract. It was in a different city, away from family support, with no employees to do the work!

How did they take that leap? I always had a firm plan before making a move forward, but they were doing the complete opposite.

After I got home, I started feeling sick to my stomach. I started to feel a real sense of dread, because I knew….I knew I needed to leave my job without knowing what the next step was.

I was ABSOLUTELY terrified!

Working has been a significant part of my life since I was 14-15 years old. I started my first job at a food court and continued working part time at supermarkets, clothings stores, banks, call centres and other admin jobs through high school and university, often working on Saturdays or night jobs to fit around school commitments.

I only stopped working when our first child came along.

I loved the security and independence that working gave me. I didn’t relate to people who had an “entrepreneurial spirit” - selling lemonade when they were young or finding a gap that needed filling during their university years. I was happy to do my hours, use my skills and clock in, clock out.

Stress-free.

Predictable.

Safe.

Comfortable.

Stepping out with no plan is the complete OPPOSITE!

I loved my job and the work I did. I loved that there was room to grow and that I had so much autonomy. I loved that I was making a difference, that I had skills that were useful for the company.

It’s been so scary to finish something without knowing what comes next or why I need to do it now.

What keeps coming up is that I shouldn’t replace it with anything yet. I need to make space for something.

But why? And what is that something?

This has been very, very, very uncomfortable! I like to see the path ahead.

Stepping into the unknown is terrifying (tears were shed), but I'm reminding myself to trust the journey. I believe that taking a chance and stepping out of my comfort zone is what I need to do to grow and find new opportunities.

The last two weeks have been a whirlwind as I have been coming to terms with the reality of what is about to happen.

How do I explain to people that I’m leaving, but I have no idea what’s going to happen after this?!?!

---

I thought I would include my resignation letter.

As I wrote it, all I kept thinking was, why am I doing this?!?

I am writing to inform you of my resignation from my position at [company name], effective Friday, 19 May. It is with a heavy heart that I have come to this decision, as I have thoroughly enjoyed my time at [company name] and love the work I do.

I want to express my sincere appreciation for the opportunities and experiences that I have had during my time here. This job has allowed me to grow both professionally and personally, and I will always be grateful for the guidance and support that I have received from you, [colleague], [colleague], [colleague], and the rest of the team at [company name]. 

However, after much thought and consideration, I have come to the conclusion that it is time for me to resign. I want to clarify that my decision to resign is not due to any personnel issues or job dissatisfaction. I can honestly say that I thoroughly enjoy my job, and it's an added bonus that I get to work with such fantastic colleagues. This decision was not an easy one, but I believe it is the right one for me at this time.

Currently, I have no specific plans after I leave, and I am open to exploring opportunities to collaborate with [company name] in a new capacity, such as training a new team member or providing graphic design services while you search for a replacement. The relationships and connections I have made during my time here have been invaluable, and I am willing to assist in any way I can to ensure a smooth transition.

Thank you again for everything. I will always cherish the memories and skills gained during my time at [company name].

Post edit: Shortly after I submitted my resignation, life took an unexpected turn. My mother's routine blood test for cholesterol medication revealed unusually low iron levels, leading to the discovery of colon cancer. The news was a huge shock.

Instead of concluding my final week at work, I found myself on a plane, supporting my mom through surgery and post-operative care. (When I handed in my notice I gave 5 weeks notice, instead of the contracted 4 weeks. If I had not extended my notice period, the timing would have been perfect and I would have finished work just in time for my mum’s surgery. ✨)

My mum is progressing well and nearing the end of her chemotherapy. I’m so grateful that I get to fly to be with her often. I am inspired by her resilience and optimistic outlook on life. Did I mention she's in her mid-70s, preparing for online university tests while navigating through chemo? She's one in a million!

It's been six months since I parted ways with my job. I've loved maintaining connections with them, even taking on some freelancing projects. There's a special place in my heart for them, especially during such a difficult time for our family’s life. My old boss lives in the same city as my mum, and even stopped by the hospital with the most beautiful flowers. 🌸

Post edit: Here is a one year update: