Not sure whether to repost as a note or comment here. here goes nothing!
I've willingly boarded the doubt train many times to escape discomfort. And stayed on long past my stop in hopes that the next stop would be the right one. Sometimes it’s comforting to stay on that train and look through the windows at other peoples’ lives instead of experiencing the love, joy and challenge in my own. Wonderful piece!
You’re so right Anna. The seats on the doubt train are comfortable but it’s almost like the air conditioning is too strong or the heat is up too high. Something feels a little off, but we often don’t say anything, we don’t want to rock the boat/train. Sometimes it has to get to a point where we can’t stand it anymore, and that is when we decide it’s time to leave the train. Here’s to to hopping off together. Xx
Welcome as I have done too. What I have grappled with also is being educated and counseling first a d later coaching clients but I could not “help” myself. It has gotten worse during the pandemic and after losing my daughter I am constantly on an ocean of “doubtful” waves and depression. Journalling each day to hold on to sanity.🙏🏼
The "doubt train" is not a fun ride, but for some reason I consistently get back on! I love the concept though because labeling those thoughts and feelings helps in my attempt to compartmentalize and work through them.
Different job, different country—I am now on my third job since then, following a diverse career trajectory where one job led to another and then another. The first job I took after our "early retirement" was well below what I had, but there wasn't much available in the small town we moved to after leaving our careers. Little did I know, that led me to a career trajectory I couldn't have even imagined five years ago.
You’ve got this Emily! Sometimes the pull to get on is so strong, especially when it feels like we have “season ticket”, like @jools stone joked about in the comment on the Note.
I loved this analogy. I jump off the train every so often and then panic. I wonder if my jump (however small) was well considered. I thought it was OK at the time... then doubted any wisdom I may have had and am desperate to get back on that train!!
I published my first SS post in a while yesterday and now fretting was it too personal? This is where my posts have been heading lately. Then I think perhaps I shouldn't even be on this writers platform anyway. There's a real skill at removing the personal and yet speaking from the heart I guess. I'm then filled with doubt and back on that train.
One of my favorite things to do is to step out of my comfort zone. I've done it so many times now and it fuels my growth and confidence. Cheers to you for taking this leap!!
I think back on the fact that I had a strong feeling to keep it free. My husband even tried to fill it up with some business ideas....and I went along with it, I guess because it did look like I would have time. Then my mother’s diagnosis came and it all made sense why I needed to keep it free. ✨
The “big windows” part is what hit me the most! So accurate. If there weren’t big windows I wonder if we would’ve reflected as much about the journey we were on 🙏🏼 great piece 🥰🙌
I sometimes wonder if there was a way to pull the shutters down so that we don’t get distracted and can tune inwards instead. I think then, we wouldn’t stay on the train as long.
In 2018, my husband and I left our, in many ways cushy (and well-paid) but in other ways restrictive, jobs and took early retirement in order to spend some time in our respective countries.
I had been in full-time employment since I was 18 years old without ever having taken any significant time off; even my two maternity leaves were 16 weeks each. What I thought was going to be a really fun and freeing experience was really disorienting for me. I eventually went back to full time work (it was too early for me to "retire"). My husband does some casual or contract work, but he did not feel the same amount of pull to a structured environment.
For me, it had a lot to do with my identity as a person. In retrospect, I wish I had given myself a little bit more time to explore why so much of my identity is tied to my job and to see what else is out there for me. Also, I think I wasn't truly ready (eventhough we knew it would be necessary) for a more frugal lifestyle that came with having enough, but much less than what we were used to with two full-time salaries.
When I went back to work a year later and to this day, I find a new appreciation in my job and everything I missed about it in that one year off. Although for me, I know I can leave it anytime I want to and still be okay (I now know what to expect, I would be much more relaxed about it all), and there is a freedom in that too.
I am looking forward to reading about your journey.
It wasn’t what I trained for at school. I transitioned into it when I saw a need at the company I started working for after raising our kids. I got trained up and have loved it ever since.
All those "You get a great view of.." lines in this piece hit me hard. Too hard. And too true! Big thanks for sharing this.
You’re so welcome! Thank you for your lovely comment. 💕
Not sure whether to repost as a note or comment here. here goes nothing!
I've willingly boarded the doubt train many times to escape discomfort. And stayed on long past my stop in hopes that the next stop would be the right one. Sometimes it’s comforting to stay on that train and look through the windows at other peoples’ lives instead of experiencing the love, joy and challenge in my own. Wonderful piece!
You’re so right Anna. The seats on the doubt train are comfortable but it’s almost like the air conditioning is too strong or the heat is up too high. Something feels a little off, but we often don’t say anything, we don’t want to rock the boat/train. Sometimes it has to get to a point where we can’t stand it anymore, and that is when we decide it’s time to leave the train. Here’s to to hopping off together. Xx
Welcome as I have done too. What I have grappled with also is being educated and counseling first a d later coaching clients but I could not “help” myself. It has gotten worse during the pandemic and after losing my daughter I am constantly on an ocean of “doubtful” waves and depression. Journalling each day to hold on to sanity.🙏🏼
So much love and grace to you. What would you say to one of your clients if they were feeling like they should be able to help themselves but can’t?
I would ask them to tell me if an incident/event when they felt happy and felt secure. And that would create a shift in their thinking.
I love this! It encouraging us to stop the spiral doom of doubt so we can step out and shift into a different space. Bravo!
I hope you're able to be supported through this however near or far the support is 💓 sending you encouragement and love from the midwest 💓
Thank you Anna. Everyone of you are so kind and although I have not met anyone of you in person I truly feel that you are all kindred spirits. 🤗❤️
I agree 💓
Couldn't agree more 👏 cheers to that!
The "doubt train" is not a fun ride, but for some reason I consistently get back on! I love the concept though because labeling those thoughts and feelings helps in my attempt to compartmentalize and work through them.
Thanks for sharing :)
I love a good visual! It really helped me to feel like I have a bit of control over it too.
Different job, different country—I am now on my third job since then, following a diverse career trajectory where one job led to another and then another. The first job I took after our "early retirement" was well below what I had, but there wasn't much available in the small town we moved to after leaving our careers. Little did I know, that led me to a career trajectory I couldn't have even imagined five years ago.
Oh my! Have you written about this yet?
I love this so much Mika ... ! I'm definitely going to try and let 'the doubt train' pass me by more often !
You’ve got this Emily! Sometimes the pull to get on is so strong, especially when it feels like we have “season ticket”, like @jools stone joked about in the comment on the Note.
I loved this analogy. I jump off the train every so often and then panic. I wonder if my jump (however small) was well considered. I thought it was OK at the time... then doubted any wisdom I may have had and am desperate to get back on that train!!
I published my first SS post in a while yesterday and now fretting was it too personal? This is where my posts have been heading lately. Then I think perhaps I shouldn't even be on this writers platform anyway. There's a real skill at removing the personal and yet speaking from the heart I guess. I'm then filled with doubt and back on that train.
Vulnerability hangover is a real thing! You’re not the only one Susan.
Bravo for being courageous!
Thank you Mika it is reassuring to know this 🙏
This is a great piece and a beautiful reminder of being yourself. Never stop!!
Thank you so much!
One of my favorite things to do is to step out of my comfort zone. I've done it so many times now and it fuels my growth and confidence. Cheers to you for taking this leap!!
I’m here all week!
I think I'm the conductor...thank you...this is impossibility me..all aboard ?? ...
Nice, I can relate! I'm curious why you left the comfortable job. What are you seeking now?
This post might help. I was following my intuition, even thought I was so so scared. https://musingsbymika.substack.com/p/stepping-into-the-unknown-of-quitting
Wow, that is amazing how it worked out. Glad to hear your mother is doing better now, and I wish you all the best!
I think back on the fact that I had a strong feeling to keep it free. My husband even tried to fill it up with some business ideas....and I went along with it, I guess because it did look like I would have time. Then my mother’s diagnosis came and it all made sense why I needed to keep it free. ✨
That is really wild. Glad you were able to be there for her.
The “big windows” part is what hit me the most! So accurate. If there weren’t big windows I wonder if we would’ve reflected as much about the journey we were on 🙏🏼 great piece 🥰🙌
I sometimes wonder if there was a way to pull the shutters down so that we don’t get distracted and can tune inwards instead. I think then, we wouldn’t stay on the train as long.
I relate to this, Mika.
In 2018, my husband and I left our, in many ways cushy (and well-paid) but in other ways restrictive, jobs and took early retirement in order to spend some time in our respective countries.
I had been in full-time employment since I was 18 years old without ever having taken any significant time off; even my two maternity leaves were 16 weeks each. What I thought was going to be a really fun and freeing experience was really disorienting for me. I eventually went back to full time work (it was too early for me to "retire"). My husband does some casual or contract work, but he did not feel the same amount of pull to a structured environment.
For me, it had a lot to do with my identity as a person. In retrospect, I wish I had given myself a little bit more time to explore why so much of my identity is tied to my job and to see what else is out there for me. Also, I think I wasn't truly ready (eventhough we knew it would be necessary) for a more frugal lifestyle that came with having enough, but much less than what we were used to with two full-time salaries.
When I went back to work a year later and to this day, I find a new appreciation in my job and everything I missed about it in that one year off. Although for me, I know I can leave it anytime I want to and still be okay (I now know what to expect, I would be much more relaxed about it all), and there is a freedom in that too.
I am looking forward to reading about your journey.
Thank you so much for sharing this Stella! I can so relate to a lot of what you're saying.
Did you return to your same job or a completely different job?
Just like Krishna, the same lines hit me and in addition, I am pleasantly surprised that you have a graphics background. 💜
It wasn’t what I trained for at school. I transitioned into it when I saw a need at the company I started working for after raising our kids. I got trained up and have loved it ever since.
You should offer to do graphics for substackers. Lol
You’re always such a big supporter! Xx
A doubt train is a good analogy!
The idea that it takes you to a ride to nowhere is where it all started. I have definitely felt that way over and over again.
Very true!
I like the analogy of the doubt train a lot. I think I may even have a season ticket for it! 😂
You cracked me up about the season ticket! 😆