“Releasing the guilt and shame of being an able-bodied person who is not bringing in a steady income” is a big one. I think I have a lot of inherited baggage around this as well Mika 🥹🫶🏻 thank you for your openness and honesty! I appreciate you 💖
Hey Gwen, I hear you on that! The words "no use (function)" used to ring in my ears as part of my inner critic. I inherited it from my mother, who equated a person's worth with achievements. It took me decades to reduce the impact of that inner critic. It's so hard-wired in our brains that it's hard to get rid of by sheer willpower.
I really appreciate reading your perspective and struggles after leaving your job. I’m going to be in the same boat a couple of months down the line — I’m currently serving out my notice period, because I just knew that I was done with corporate life. I have no grand plans for what comes next, just a wide range of interests and projects that I’ve left off for “some day”.
No plan really, Mika. I think my challenges will be quite similar to yours. I need to figure out what life will look like, what to focus on, and how to find/create some sort of structure to my days. It's exciting, and also a bit scary to be honest!
Oh goodness, I have a similar post waiting for me in my Drafts. I left my job just before Christmas last year. It has been invigorating, freeing and scary as hell. My husband has taken the weight of all the financials, but that will only last so long. He’s exhausted, working so many hours to barely make ends meet. I feel the pressure of needing to be an overnight success - which won’t happen for a regular person like me. It feels like I’m in limbo right now and I can’t say that I like it. - Melissa
My hope is to make money from my art. I do believe in my work, but it feels like jumping through rings of fire trying to get my work seen. I’ve made 3 small sales since opening my online store, which I’m thankful for. But even that isn’t enough to pay my phone bill. Some days I want to give up, but my husband encourages me to keep going. I often mention going back to work. He reminds me that my art has the potential to make so much more money than any job. So I keep trying. But how long can I bank on potential? 🥴
We have an opportunity of a lifetime, but it's so hard sometimes. We are marketing an app that we built and we are trying to come up ways to get more exposure, so I can relate. You're the artists, marketing director, social media manager, strategist, etc etc etc. Always wondering where you should best use your time. 🫠
Exactly! And I’m so tired of being in so many (social media) places at one time! Most of my time is not used for creating art and that saddens me. Anyway, thanks for chatting with me. It’s so nice to talk to someone who truly understands how it all feels.
I think you’ll find there are a lot of creatives that can relate to how you feel. I hope you are able to use Substack as a respite and creative space. 💕
It’s not impossible… but it does take time. Money comes from relationships built on trust. The best thing you can do, as a new entrepreneur, is to keep connecting with others. Write… share your interests, your beliefs, your values, and your experiences. This will attract like-minded people to your content, and the emotional connection will build trust.
I’m no expert, but I’ve been doing the Solopreneur thing for 10 years now, and can relate to that feeling of pressure to help support the family. I was frantic about it in the first few years, but that only made things worse. People can sense your energy.
Thank you for the reminder. There is a pressure to push and get to that 6 figure salary. Anything less seems like a failure in that business model. I would much rather build a model that encourages slow, steady growth with amazing people to work with.
I took advantage of the free 30-minute calls offered by several coaches and talked things out. It always helped to talk with someone else and get out of my own head.
If you need someone like that, I’d highly recommend the coach I have now… she’s fabulous and doesn’t charge high fees!!
You’re right, being regular sounds pretty boring. We’re all extraordinary in our own ways. :) Sometimes I feel as if my net has a hole in it and I’m just trying not to land directly in it lol. xo
"Releasing the guilt and shame of being an able-bodied person who is not bringing in a steady income" ... The guilt stems from the dawn of industrialisation era because a stable and steady income is a hallmark of a participating member of the society.
In the past (and the current time as well for many traditional farmers), the farmers follow the nature cycle. They can rack tons of money during the harvest season, but then have to be smart with their expenses during the sowing time.
Even an able-bodied person might be involved in fluctuate incomes or none at all for a long time, say due to becoming a caretaker, studying, personal endeavour, entrepreneurship, etc.
Our civilisation has glorified steady incomes too much and this causes the self-esteem issue in feminine energy, womanhood, or more precisely, a stay-at-home mother/daughter, which is super toxic.
Even when we're working, does the general population expect us to keep working for the next 20-30 years like this?
I respect you for bringing your struggle to light, Mika, you're audacious and sincere to make a choice that spoke to you back then. And I wish you nothing but happiness and peace for your days, so your mind and heart will be lighter :)
Thank you for your thoughts. As a homemaker for 25 years it is hard not to see my work devalued since I wasn’t paid. Yes it was a choice but it’s still challenging to be seen in the same light as a full time worker.
I loved this article, Mika. It took me back. I left the corporate world almost 30 years ago and never looked back. It wasn't easy. I started two ventures and built two careers in that time. Each new beginning was terrifying. Each new venture was more successful than the last. I had much to learn - how to generate income opportunities for myself, how to find a new rhythm for my work when no one was imposing one on me, and how to inspire others to pay me for my skill. It was challenging, sometimes exhausting and often exhilarating. People used to ask me, "How can you leave the security of full time income?" Over the years I watched so many of my peers, really smart, excellent people, lose their jobs because a group of executives decided that their balance sheets and their prospects would look better if they "restructured." That taught me something else. There is no greater sense of security than knowing that no matter what, you have the ability to create your own work and find your own opportunities. All the best.
You’re story is so empowering. Thank you so much for sharing it. I can’t wait to be where you are, but I know I need to figure it out, make mistakes, and find out what my next steps are. Looking forward to learning from your experience.
Going through the comments, I can see that so many of us go through the same insecurities and challenges (me included) not realising we are not the only ones. Thank you for sharing your story and letting us realise that and for showing the hope ❤️
Thank you for your kind note. There is something beautiful knowing that we aren't the only ones going through it. I'm so grateful for the comments and the sharing too!
So understand this. The unknown is a scary place to be in. We have to be in gratitude with what we have. And be sure that our decisions are for our good.
Although i didn't leave my job (i was fired, actually), i still feel hurt for what they did to me and haven't been able to forgive them, especially her (the manager). And also, i'm unmarried.
Three years ago, an expert teacher i knew referred me to one of his female colleagues and after the interview, i was accepted as an English teacher in her language institute.
She seemed like a well-mannered manager and i really did learn some things from her. But what made that short time i was teacher there a bad memory was the fact that i had not only kinda fallen in love with the illusion she had created for others, but also i didn't listen to my intuition (my sixth sense sometimes told me i need to find a job in another institute in case i get fired from here, but i suppressed that voice and didn't listen to it. Beside this, i forgot to apply this proverb "Don't put all your eggs in one basket" to this job).
Anyway, this incident and other events led me to rethink about what my interests are and what i wanna do. There's just one problem: what i thought was my calling has changed . I thought English language was my calling (this is my major), but now i see art is my calling (it's been my serious hobby for the past few years).
True, change is inevitable and sometimes what prevents you from successfully navigating change are your beliefs, and significant others (my mom is more supportive of me than my dad, although i know he understands but either doesn't wanna or can show).
I mostly love abstract and mixed-medium styles (you can see my Notes). These are my styles, actually.
Yes, i'm glad i've found a place where i can interact with so many people.
Great, Mika. You've just taken the first step. Just let me tell you this: even if your sketches look very simple, don't beat yourself up for this that my sketches are ugly.
Oh yes.... been there and done that - sudden loss of what I thought was my perfect long term, until retirement job; finding myself in the middle of covid lockdowns, discovering a whole new normal, returning to work because I thought I "should" and then leaving because I knew that this new normal was the right one for me. There might be less income, no job title, and less busyness....but the flip side is joy, gratitude, freedom, flexibility, self-awareness, peace, and so much more.
You'll find your way Mika - life takes us on a continuous journey of growth and maturing if we follow whole-heartedly and for the right reasons. <3
100%. I left teaching nearly 4 years ago during the pandemic. I thought it was temporary at first, but when it came time to go back I realized I wanted to invest my time and energy in my writing. I didn’t know how it would go (I still don’t!), but I’ve made so much progress and feel like there’s so much I’m excited about. Still, it’s flipping the script on all we’ve learned and been told. It’s like we have to redefine what “success” means to us. I’ve battled all those feelings around self-worth/earning/productivity too. You are not alone! Have faith in yourself and your path ✨
It's really hard when you leave your job. It's like groping in the darkness searching for the door. You don't know where you're going and what will happen later. But, with acceptance of life and uncertainties that come with it, you Learn to navigate the chaos of life and adopt resilience that will help you further achieve your goals.
Hi Mika, this is a timely one for me! I decided, after losing my mom one year ago, that I would retire from my job of 35 years. I’ve loved it , but my mom’s death was the catalyst for me to take a risk and try to focus on my passions even more. Money is a huge worry, but I’m having faith ( trying!!) in the belief that I am creating space for something new. I know I will struggle with seeing my more spacious days as valuable, as I know I have a certain picture of what success is, too, and it’s been ingrained in me since childhood. Busy = productive, productive = good work ethic, good work ethic= moral, moral= only having enough money (and not too much money), more money than you need = greedy and selfish.
Being an entrepreneur and a writer works contrary to much of that!
I struggle with productivity issues every day, it's probably the topic of most of my writing. The hardest part of this struggle for me is that I feel like I should always be doing something that leads to productive output. Hence why resting is almost never guilt-free. It's great to see you are managing to find your way around this!
Thoroughly enjoyed this Mika. 🪄Shifting into new paradigms, shedding the guilt, the fear, the overthinking and stepping into more joy, ease and presence within our body sure is the adventure. I’m excited for you!✨🪄✨🪄✨
“Releasing the guilt and shame of being an able-bodied person who is not bringing in a steady income” is a big one. I think I have a lot of inherited baggage around this as well Mika 🥹🫶🏻 thank you for your openness and honesty! I appreciate you 💖
Hopefully we can unload the baggage. It feels pretty heavy!
Hey Gwen, I hear you on that! The words "no use (function)" used to ring in my ears as part of my inner critic. I inherited it from my mother, who equated a person's worth with achievements. It took me decades to reduce the impact of that inner critic. It's so hard-wired in our brains that it's hard to get rid of by sheer willpower.
I really appreciate reading your perspective and struggles after leaving your job. I’m going to be in the same boat a couple of months down the line — I’m currently serving out my notice period, because I just knew that I was done with corporate life. I have no grand plans for what comes next, just a wide range of interests and projects that I’ve left off for “some day”.
How exciting!! Do you think you'll face similar challenges or do you have a good plan of what life will be like post-corporate job?
No plan really, Mika. I think my challenges will be quite similar to yours. I need to figure out what life will look like, what to focus on, and how to find/create some sort of structure to my days. It's exciting, and also a bit scary to be honest!
Oh goodness, I have a similar post waiting for me in my Drafts. I left my job just before Christmas last year. It has been invigorating, freeing and scary as hell. My husband has taken the weight of all the financials, but that will only last so long. He’s exhausted, working so many hours to barely make ends meet. I feel the pressure of needing to be an overnight success - which won’t happen for a regular person like me. It feels like I’m in limbo right now and I can’t say that I like it. - Melissa
I can totally relate to all you're saying. I didn't realise the pressure that would come with the "dream".
Do you have an idea of what you want to do for $$$?
My hope is to make money from my art. I do believe in my work, but it feels like jumping through rings of fire trying to get my work seen. I’ve made 3 small sales since opening my online store, which I’m thankful for. But even that isn’t enough to pay my phone bill. Some days I want to give up, but my husband encourages me to keep going. I often mention going back to work. He reminds me that my art has the potential to make so much more money than any job. So I keep trying. But how long can I bank on potential? 🥴
We have an opportunity of a lifetime, but it's so hard sometimes. We are marketing an app that we built and we are trying to come up ways to get more exposure, so I can relate. You're the artists, marketing director, social media manager, strategist, etc etc etc. Always wondering where you should best use your time. 🫠
Exactly! And I’m so tired of being in so many (social media) places at one time! Most of my time is not used for creating art and that saddens me. Anyway, thanks for chatting with me. It’s so nice to talk to someone who truly understands how it all feels.
I think you’ll find there are a lot of creatives that can relate to how you feel. I hope you are able to use Substack as a respite and creative space. 💕
It’s not impossible… but it does take time. Money comes from relationships built on trust. The best thing you can do, as a new entrepreneur, is to keep connecting with others. Write… share your interests, your beliefs, your values, and your experiences. This will attract like-minded people to your content, and the emotional connection will build trust.
I’m no expert, but I’ve been doing the Solopreneur thing for 10 years now, and can relate to that feeling of pressure to help support the family. I was frantic about it in the first few years, but that only made things worse. People can sense your energy.
Thank you for the reminder. There is a pressure to push and get to that 6 figure salary. Anything less seems like a failure in that business model. I would much rather build a model that encourages slow, steady growth with amazing people to work with.
Same here. Slow and steady, authentic growth.
Thank you so much for the advice. I really do need to have patience. “All good things take time”, is something that I keep hearing along this journey.
How did you put your frantic mind at ease in the beginning?
I took advantage of the free 30-minute calls offered by several coaches and talked things out. It always helped to talk with someone else and get out of my own head.
If you need someone like that, I’d highly recommend the coach I have now… she’s fabulous and doesn’t charge high fees!!
That’s definitely my problem - I’m always in my head. 🙃 Having a coach isn’t an option for me currently, but hopefully in the near future. 🤞🏽
Also, thanks for sharing your story, Mika!
You’re right, being regular sounds pretty boring. We’re all extraordinary in our own ways. :) Sometimes I feel as if my net has a hole in it and I’m just trying not to land directly in it lol. xo
"Releasing the guilt and shame of being an able-bodied person who is not bringing in a steady income" ... The guilt stems from the dawn of industrialisation era because a stable and steady income is a hallmark of a participating member of the society.
In the past (and the current time as well for many traditional farmers), the farmers follow the nature cycle. They can rack tons of money during the harvest season, but then have to be smart with their expenses during the sowing time.
Even an able-bodied person might be involved in fluctuate incomes or none at all for a long time, say due to becoming a caretaker, studying, personal endeavour, entrepreneurship, etc.
Our civilisation has glorified steady incomes too much and this causes the self-esteem issue in feminine energy, womanhood, or more precisely, a stay-at-home mother/daughter, which is super toxic.
Even when we're working, does the general population expect us to keep working for the next 20-30 years like this?
I respect you for bringing your struggle to light, Mika, you're audacious and sincere to make a choice that spoke to you back then. And I wish you nothing but happiness and peace for your days, so your mind and heart will be lighter :)
Thank you for adding to the conversation. It does feel like a tug a war between the feminine and masculine energy.
And the masculine energy is stifling the creative energy of the feminine because it wants to hustle and want it done yesterday.
Yasshhh you articulate it well
I love this perspective so much. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Sekar!
Thank you, Fabienne :)
Thank you for your thoughts. As a homemaker for 25 years it is hard not to see my work devalued since I wasn’t paid. Yes it was a choice but it’s still challenging to be seen in the same light as a full time worker.
Wishing you and your loved ones health and happiness, Blythe <3
Thank you. 😊
Finding a truer path desite fear and discomfort is truly living.
Absolutely. Time to break free from the constraints. ⛓️
I loved this article, Mika. It took me back. I left the corporate world almost 30 years ago and never looked back. It wasn't easy. I started two ventures and built two careers in that time. Each new beginning was terrifying. Each new venture was more successful than the last. I had much to learn - how to generate income opportunities for myself, how to find a new rhythm for my work when no one was imposing one on me, and how to inspire others to pay me for my skill. It was challenging, sometimes exhausting and often exhilarating. People used to ask me, "How can you leave the security of full time income?" Over the years I watched so many of my peers, really smart, excellent people, lose their jobs because a group of executives decided that their balance sheets and their prospects would look better if they "restructured." That taught me something else. There is no greater sense of security than knowing that no matter what, you have the ability to create your own work and find your own opportunities. All the best.
You’re story is so empowering. Thank you so much for sharing it. I can’t wait to be where you are, but I know I need to figure it out, make mistakes, and find out what my next steps are. Looking forward to learning from your experience.
Going through the comments, I can see that so many of us go through the same insecurities and challenges (me included) not realising we are not the only ones. Thank you for sharing your story and letting us realise that and for showing the hope ❤️
Thank you for your kind note. There is something beautiful knowing that we aren't the only ones going through it. I'm so grateful for the comments and the sharing too!
It is nice not to feel so alone. ❤️
So understand this. The unknown is a scary place to be in. We have to be in gratitude with what we have. And be sure that our decisions are for our good.
It's hard when you can't see too far ahead. But we what we can choose to see is the good and be grateful. 💕
Although i didn't leave my job (i was fired, actually), i still feel hurt for what they did to me and haven't been able to forgive them, especially her (the manager). And also, i'm unmarried.
Three years ago, an expert teacher i knew referred me to one of his female colleagues and after the interview, i was accepted as an English teacher in her language institute.
She seemed like a well-mannered manager and i really did learn some things from her. But what made that short time i was teacher there a bad memory was the fact that i had not only kinda fallen in love with the illusion she had created for others, but also i didn't listen to my intuition (my sixth sense sometimes told me i need to find a job in another institute in case i get fired from here, but i suppressed that voice and didn't listen to it. Beside this, i forgot to apply this proverb "Don't put all your eggs in one basket" to this job).
Anyway, this incident and other events led me to rethink about what my interests are and what i wanna do. There's just one problem: what i thought was my calling has changed . I thought English language was my calling (this is my major), but now i see art is my calling (it's been my serious hobby for the past few years).
You’ve certainly been on a journey. I’m sorry you got let go.
It can be unsettling when your calling changes. But I wonder as we develop it is inevitable.
What kind of art do you love?
Yes, it's been a journey for me, Mika.
True, change is inevitable and sometimes what prevents you from successfully navigating change are your beliefs, and significant others (my mom is more supportive of me than my dad, although i know he understands but either doesn't wanna or can show).
I mostly love abstract and mixed-medium styles (you can see my Notes). These are my styles, actually.
I'm so glad you're sharing your art on Subtack. Maybe I'll join you! I just got a wee sketchbook and colouring pencils today. 🎨
Yes, i'm glad i've found a place where i can interact with so many people.
Great, Mika. You've just taken the first step. Just let me tell you this: even if your sketches look very simple, don't beat yourself up for this that my sketches are ugly.
Oh yes.... been there and done that - sudden loss of what I thought was my perfect long term, until retirement job; finding myself in the middle of covid lockdowns, discovering a whole new normal, returning to work because I thought I "should" and then leaving because I knew that this new normal was the right one for me. There might be less income, no job title, and less busyness....but the flip side is joy, gratitude, freedom, flexibility, self-awareness, peace, and so much more.
You'll find your way Mika - life takes us on a continuous journey of growth and maturing if we follow whole-heartedly and for the right reasons. <3
Thank you for your insight Leanne. I love that you've gone through it and have come out the other side content and at peace! Thriving! 💕
I hear you Mika!
I wrote about this exact topic yesterday, it is odd being the other side of a regular income, which has surprised me.
I will be making some changes! 😃😘
https://open.substack.com/pub/katedarracott/p/coaching-session-1-epiphany?r=1nkhs2&utm_medium=ios
Thanks for linking this, looking forward to having a read.
100%. I left teaching nearly 4 years ago during the pandemic. I thought it was temporary at first, but when it came time to go back I realized I wanted to invest my time and energy in my writing. I didn’t know how it would go (I still don’t!), but I’ve made so much progress and feel like there’s so much I’m excited about. Still, it’s flipping the script on all we’ve learned and been told. It’s like we have to redefine what “success” means to us. I’ve battled all those feelings around self-worth/earning/productivity too. You are not alone! Have faith in yourself and your path ✨
Thank you for this encouragement! Cheering you on as well! ✨
I feel like I’m reading a comment from my future self (fingers crossed)
YES! Excited for you.👏
It's really hard when you leave your job. It's like groping in the darkness searching for the door. You don't know where you're going and what will happen later. But, with acceptance of life and uncertainties that come with it, you Learn to navigate the chaos of life and adopt resilience that will help you further achieve your goals.
Beautifully said Edwin.
Hi Mika, this is a timely one for me! I decided, after losing my mom one year ago, that I would retire from my job of 35 years. I’ve loved it , but my mom’s death was the catalyst for me to take a risk and try to focus on my passions even more. Money is a huge worry, but I’m having faith ( trying!!) in the belief that I am creating space for something new. I know I will struggle with seeing my more spacious days as valuable, as I know I have a certain picture of what success is, too, and it’s been ingrained in me since childhood. Busy = productive, productive = good work ethic, good work ethic= moral, moral= only having enough money (and not too much money), more money than you need = greedy and selfish.
Being an entrepreneur and a writer works contrary to much of that!
I’m so sorry to hear about your mother. 💐
We only live one life, so why not explore all we have to offer. It’s scary and unknown, but it’s such a huge privilege if we get that opportunity!
I struggle with productivity issues every day, it's probably the topic of most of my writing. The hardest part of this struggle for me is that I feel like I should always be doing something that leads to productive output. Hence why resting is almost never guilt-free. It's great to see you are managing to find your way around this!
Yup, that’s me! I’m a work in progress. I still need to actively work through it every day, to be honest.
Thoroughly enjoyed this Mika. 🪄Shifting into new paradigms, shedding the guilt, the fear, the overthinking and stepping into more joy, ease and presence within our body sure is the adventure. I’m excited for you!✨🪄✨🪄✨
Thank you! This next chapter feels very expansive and I’m so excited too!!
Expansion - just love it!✨💫🤸🏼♀️🪄