Have been thinking about this all day. I think of my mental health/self-care / balancing practices as a pyramid with a few layers. I always go back to the bottom when things get out of whack. It is always, always sleep, first as the foundation! Then water (because it’s pretty easy). Next up is moving my body for 10-15 minutes outside. And top layer is calling or texting a friend…
I am a single mum with two teenage girls, so I have learned the hard way that before I become a "mum on speed" (making coffees, matchas, breakfast, lunches...) I need to centre myself. I get up 20 minutes before my daughters to make my own coffee and read something that nurtures me (often poetry, often in Italian). Then I get my day started with my top priority: writing. I turn my phone off. I take a mid morning break for a 12 min HIIT exercise, eat a healthy lunch, write some more and check emails only at the end of my working day. it's all about concentration levels for me. When I'm sharpest, I write. When I'm less sharp, I can check emails. I end my day with yoga, before my girls get home, then it's all about them again. Then, I fall asleep to a short poetry podcast in Italian. That is how i keep sane :) Hope it helps.
I've learned to accept I have funk cycles - I live in seasons where I will go from super energized and productive to calming down and going more inwards (I also have this cycles on a monthly basis 😅)
I learned to cherish these down periods, because I know they'll lead to something better.
Accepting the funk cycle is so key isn’t it! I used to be so frustrated with myself, but now I like to think of as seasons too. At some point it will pass, and the less resistance I have to my “winters” the better “spring” I have!
In the book “The Optimized Woman”, Miranda Gray talks about the down time, is a time when we are more intuitive and reflective. Then when we feel more energised we can action those things we have been reflecting on.
For me going out in nature, maybe in the woods, along the river, listening to some mind calming podcast especially Allan Watts. I thoughtless mind is just priceless, full of bliss.
People want to be seen, to be heard. They want to know they are not alone, they want to know that someone else out there feels the same way as they do. Talking to someone you're comfortable with when it becomes unbearably is therapeutic too.
You put how I feel into words ... directionless, overwhelmed, tired, and I'll add: discombobulated. It's really hard to see the forest for the trees when I feel like this, but I think after a few good vent sessions and some solid effort toward a perspective shift, I'm ready for a reset.
Thanks for laying out your "how" and your tips - this was super helpful :)
This was a great read!! Your advice was really useful and I really appreciated the point on gently gifting yourself because it can take time to get out of a difficult period and compassion and graciousness with ourselves is very important.❤️
How nice, to re-frame your activity as "gifting" yourself something that will help make you happy. And really checking in to "listen" to yourself as an act of care is so simple and key. I love your reset plan.
The reframe is so important as when I’m in a funk, I usually can pick out the negative stuff, so I it’s a key way to get out of that cycle…after I’m ready.
Great tips, Mika! It’s really those little small steps (and sleep!!!) that can shift the whole cycle and wake you up from the ‘funk’ - isn’t it?
I especially love your reminder to listen to yourself, to tune into your needs and the way you talk to yourself - “I’m going to take care of you” “I’m going to listen to you”.
Sometimes that what we need more than anything. And if there isn’t anyone else around to say those things to us, we have to say them to ourselves. 💕
"f there isn’t anyone else around to say those things to us, we have to say them to ourselves." Yes! That's why sometimes we get to the burnout point, because we haven't really been listening, but doing "what needs to be done".
I love these steps! And morning pages - so powerful! I did them at one point every day for months and the insights I gathered about myself was amazing. Learning to sink into almost meditative writing can be so powerful! I don’t do them so much now but I learned so much from doing them that I find it far easier now to write deeply and soulfully without being attached to the outcome.
And I have literally written ‘blah blah tired yawn bubbles’ in my morning pages 😂
Yeah the funks for me are like being trapped in quick sand. The more I struggle, the more I sink deeper into them. Best to just give yourself a little less to do and take care of yourself mentally, physically, emotionally, and come back ready to work a few days later.
This was perfect timing. I’ve been in that funk for a while (as, it seems, have many others). Last night I slept through the night for the first time in months. As I went through your list, I felt like that was the process I had just gone through (unknowingly), so it definitely works 🙌🏼. The big key was listening to what I needed and allowing myself to have it.
“ The big key was listening to what I needed and allowing myself to have it.” - yes!!!! Otherwise it’s a constant struggle of feeling bad and then we get trapped in that cycle.
Have been thinking about this all day. I think of my mental health/self-care / balancing practices as a pyramid with a few layers. I always go back to the bottom when things get out of whack. It is always, always sleep, first as the foundation! Then water (because it’s pretty easy). Next up is moving my body for 10-15 minutes outside. And top layer is calling or texting a friend…
That's what I like about it, if you tune in, you "know" what you need and in what order!!
I am a single mum with two teenage girls, so I have learned the hard way that before I become a "mum on speed" (making coffees, matchas, breakfast, lunches...) I need to centre myself. I get up 20 minutes before my daughters to make my own coffee and read something that nurtures me (often poetry, often in Italian). Then I get my day started with my top priority: writing. I turn my phone off. I take a mid morning break for a 12 min HIIT exercise, eat a healthy lunch, write some more and check emails only at the end of my working day. it's all about concentration levels for me. When I'm sharpest, I write. When I'm less sharp, I can check emails. I end my day with yoga, before my girls get home, then it's all about them again. Then, I fall asleep to a short poetry podcast in Italian. That is how i keep sane :) Hope it helps.
Love love love your rhythm of your day!! Thank you so much for sharing it! Have you written about this yet? I think people would find this so helpful.
As the kids say “goals”! (Or maybe that’s old now 👵)
Yes! It is in my welcome subscription page as a gift. But also as a post here, Lightness of being in 5 simple Steps:
https://open.substack.com/pub/imolazsitva/p/lightness-of-being-in-5-simple-steps?r=2q4qf4&utm_medium=ios
:) I’ve included links to yoga videos. Enjoy!
Oh yay!!!! Thank you!!
My pleasure lovely! Hope it helps!
I've learned to accept I have funk cycles - I live in seasons where I will go from super energized and productive to calming down and going more inwards (I also have this cycles on a monthly basis 😅)
I learned to cherish these down periods, because I know they'll lead to something better.
Accepting the funk cycle is so key isn’t it! I used to be so frustrated with myself, but now I like to think of as seasons too. At some point it will pass, and the less resistance I have to my “winters” the better “spring” I have!
In the book “The Optimized Woman”, Miranda Gray talks about the down time, is a time when we are more intuitive and reflective. Then when we feel more energised we can action those things we have been reflecting on.
That book goes on my reading list!!
I write about it in this post https://musingsbymika.substack.com/p/my-fav-books-of-all-time-that-you
I have it as an ebook, and it’s so worth it!!
For me going out in nature, maybe in the woods, along the river, listening to some mind calming podcast especially Allan Watts. I thoughtless mind is just priceless, full of bliss.
People want to be seen, to be heard. They want to know they are not alone, they want to know that someone else out there feels the same way as they do. Talking to someone you're comfortable with when it becomes unbearably is therapeutic too.
I love how nature can just wash away the stress and bring things into perspective. It’s quite magical.
I totally agree to reaching out to talk. I’ve been seeing my daughters do it so much faster than I would have in the past. It warms my heart.
Awareness of how you are feeling and why, care and compassion for yourself and small steps forward when ready are the best way to get out of a dip.
It’s so interesting how we can quickly become so unaware when we are just trying to keep our head above water.
Having some sort of practice to bring us back to the present is so key. Otherwise we are always in the future or living with regret about the past.
You put how I feel into words ... directionless, overwhelmed, tired, and I'll add: discombobulated. It's really hard to see the forest for the trees when I feel like this, but I think after a few good vent sessions and some solid effort toward a perspective shift, I'm ready for a reset.
Thanks for laying out your "how" and your tips - this was super helpful :)
“discombobulated” - 100%
I hope your reset goes well and you take it one-little-gift-to-yourself at a time💕
This was a great read!! Your advice was really useful and I really appreciated the point on gently gifting yourself because it can take time to get out of a difficult period and compassion and graciousness with ourselves is very important.❤️
When I gave myself that compassion, it felt like I was tenderly putting a hand on me saying “it won’t be forever”. Which it can sometimes feel like.
How nice, to re-frame your activity as "gifting" yourself something that will help make you happy. And really checking in to "listen" to yourself as an act of care is so simple and key. I love your reset plan.
The reframe is so important as when I’m in a funk, I usually can pick out the negative stuff, so I it’s a key way to get out of that cycle…after I’m ready.
Great tips, Mika! It’s really those little small steps (and sleep!!!) that can shift the whole cycle and wake you up from the ‘funk’ - isn’t it?
I especially love your reminder to listen to yourself, to tune into your needs and the way you talk to yourself - “I’m going to take care of you” “I’m going to listen to you”.
Sometimes that what we need more than anything. And if there isn’t anyone else around to say those things to us, we have to say them to ourselves. 💕
"f there isn’t anyone else around to say those things to us, we have to say them to ourselves." Yes! That's why sometimes we get to the burnout point, because we haven't really been listening, but doing "what needs to be done".
My favorite is 1 - tuning in before moving on is important for practicing mindfulness and prioritizing self. Thanks for sharing!
I think it reminds us that we don't have to be go-go-go all the time. Sometimes there are seasons where we just need to take a breath. 💕
Love the steps! Thanks Mika. I need to step back and figure out how I’ll fit these into my daily routine.
Glad it was helpful!
I love these steps! And morning pages - so powerful! I did them at one point every day for months and the insights I gathered about myself was amazing. Learning to sink into almost meditative writing can be so powerful! I don’t do them so much now but I learned so much from doing them that I find it far easier now to write deeply and soulfully without being attached to the outcome.
And I have literally written ‘blah blah tired yawn bubbles’ in my morning pages 😂
I sometimes think, "if anyone picks this up, it's going to be really embarrassing". hahahaha
But I keep on doing it because it helps me from ruminating and I get so much clarity.
Same 😂 but I think writing for literally nobody is great, it’s so freeing.
Once I figured that out, I was able to move forward!! It was the key to unlocking everything.
Yeah the funks for me are like being trapped in quick sand. The more I struggle, the more I sink deeper into them. Best to just give yourself a little less to do and take care of yourself mentally, physically, emotionally, and come back ready to work a few days later.
You totally get it!! I find I get into a worse cycle when I struggle. I add guilt and judgement, which is not helpful.
Doing one thing breaks the cycle - but only when your ready. 💕
Thank you for sharing Thomas, I hope you don’t mind, I shared your response in a note.
This was perfect timing. I’ve been in that funk for a while (as, it seems, have many others). Last night I slept through the night for the first time in months. As I went through your list, I felt like that was the process I had just gone through (unknowingly), so it definitely works 🙌🏼. The big key was listening to what I needed and allowing myself to have it.
“ The big key was listening to what I needed and allowing myself to have it.” - yes!!!! Otherwise it’s a constant struggle of feeling bad and then we get trapped in that cycle.
Also a big “yes” to a good night’s sleep!!
Nice. I would also add to my list - listen to what's coming up (aka feel the feels) 😊
So so important! When we're go go go, we often neglect feeling the feels and to be still and listen.